Snacks

This week's Snacks come from Tony Ramos: Wrestled for the University of Iowa, where he was a Big Ten Champion, 3X NCAA All-American, and the 2014 NCAA National Champion. He was also named the University of Iowa Male Athlete of the Year. A 5X U.S. National Team Member, 3X U.S. Open Champion, and 2X World Team Member, he is currently the Associate Head Coach at the University of North Carolina.

Below are some excerpts from our conversation, along with key takeaways and tips that can be applied to improve yourself as a Coach, Athlete, or wrestling Parent.

Origin Story Tip: Having family in the room can make wrestling more enjoyable and keep kids engaged. For him, it started as a way to keep all three brothers on the same team, with his dad as their coach. That support system turned practices into family bonding time as they grew together in the sport.

"So for me, I started at a very young age—three years old. I don't think I really had a choice about whether or not I was wrestling. My mom and dad wanted all three of us brothers to be on the same team for at least one year. My oldest brother was getting ready to go into high school, so his eighth-grade year was when I was three. That’s when they put us all in the same wrestling club.

But there were some exceptions that had to be made. The program didn’t want a three-year-old running around with the big kids. So they had to figure out a way to make it work. They told my dad that if I was going to wrestle, he had to coach a little kids' room. I started in the 10-and-under room with all the little kids, and my dad became my coach. He was my coach for the majority of my early development, growing up.

When I first started, there were a lot of pictures of me getting pinned and beat up. But I picked it up really fast, loved it, had a lot of success, and just kept moving forward with it. Wrestling was always the sport I excelled at and competed in at a high level.

I did gymnastics, played some roller hockey, T-ball, and football—I tried a little bit of everything. But wrestling was always the main one, the one we traveled for the most, competing at national events and everything else."

Parent Tip: Know when it’s time to step back. Parents play a key role in their child’s athletic development, but eventually, they will outgrow what you can offer them. If you are one of your kid’s coaches, recognize when it’s time to hand them off to new coaches, mentors, and experiences. When that moment comes, embrace your role as a supportive fan and trust the process—allow their new coaches to take over and help them grow.

"I think we talked about this a little, and it applies to any sport. My kids are in hockey right now. Parents can coach, but you have to understand your child. You need to know when to push, when to just be their fan, when to motivate them, and when to say nothing.

It’s hard because there are times when you really want to get on them, but it might not be the right moment. I’ve learned that more as a coach, too. The kids I work with every day are like my own. You have to be able to read them, understand what’s going on, and figure out the best way to coach them.

The biggest advice I’d give parents is knowing when their time is up. My dad and my brothers coached me until they couldn’t anymore. Eventually, if your kid is going to be great in this sport, they will outgrow what you can offer them. That’s when you need to recognize it’s time to find what’s next for them—whether it’s better coaching, sports psychology, or nutrition.

A lot of parents struggle with this. My kids don’t wrestle, and I never wanted them to because it’s hard. But I’ve always gone back and forth on whether I’d coach them if they did. I think a lot of high-level wrestlers don’t want to coach their own kids because we want them to develop, learn from others, and become coachable before we step in.

Many parents who coach never reached the highest levels of the sport. But if you want your kid to be better than you, they will eventually outgrow what you can teach them. You have to recognize when it’s time to hand them off, and when you do, you have to let go. That’s when you transition to being their biggest fan.

The best advice my dad ever gave me was when I went to college. He told me, “I’ve done everything I can for you. Now, if you screw up, it’s on you. I’ve coached you, but I can’t do anything more. You’re past what I can give you.” That stuck with me forever.

Parents struggle with that handoff. They still want to be the coach, still want to make the plans. But at some point, you have to trust the process and let the next phase take over."

Coaching Tip: A great coach is always learning. Whether it’s leadership, motivation, or program management, being open to growth is important. Just like athletes, coaches need to develop their skills—both on and off the mat. That means learning from different mentors, understanding administration, and building relationships that help the program thrive.

"I had so many different coaches, and I took a little bit from every one of them. My high school coach wasn’t a great wrestler—he was a pretty good football player—but he built a dynasty in Carol Stream when he was the coach there. It was because he was a master motivator.

Even more than that, the standards and the way he ran his program were super high. I remember many times we had conversations about leadership. My freshman year, being a three-year captain was a huge deal. You could only get voted in after your freshman year. I took second and was the best one on our team, but when voting came around, I didn’t get picked.

I went in to ask him about it, and he told me, "You’re not ready yet. You’re a great wrestler, but you’re not a great leader." He didn’t care how good you were—he didn’t treat you differently. He taught you the right way to do things, not just in wrestling but in leading a team and handling everything the right way. I still use a lot of the lessons he taught me with our college guys today...

As a coach you need to be willing to learn and develop. At the high level, once we become coaches, it’s not that we think we know everything, but sometimes we’re not as willing to develop as we expect our athletes to.

One way I challenged myself in that, which I never thought I would, was going back to grad school. I started studying sports administration and learning about the administrative side of college athletics. I realized I couldn’t be a great college coach if I didn’t understand how to work with administrators, how they approach things, and why they make certain decisions.

We need to be willing to learn and develop—not just in wrestling and technique, or from new assistants and different programs, but also in fundraising, administration, operations, and facility management. There’s so much that goes into coaching, and building relationships with those people is important.

One of my best coworkers and friends in the department is our equipment manager. Those relationships matter, and they play a big role in helping a program succeed."

Athlete Tip: “You got to be disciplined. I mean, that’s the biggest one. Everyone can be motivated at certain times, but the people who are disciplined are the ones who can do the things they need to, even when they’re not motivated.”

You got to be disciplined. I mean, that’s the biggest one. Everyone can be motivated at certain times, but the people who are disciplined are the ones who can do the things they need to, even when they’re not motivated.

So that’s the biggest one—just be disciplined, be true to yourself, and be honest with yourself.

Negative Impact Tip: 1: Don't push kids into extreme weight cutting. Cutting weight at a young age doesn’t make a wrestler better—it can create an unhealthy relationship with the sport. 2: Wrestling should never become your entire identity. If your self-worth is tied only to your success on the mat, it can make transitioning out of the sport difficult. Many athletes struggle to move on because they don’t know who they are without wrestling.

"Yeah, I think there are two big ones. One of them is cutting weight. This is a big one that I remember from wrestling in the U.S. Open at the senior level. It happened twice in Vegas, and it blew my mind each time.

I was working out before weigh-ins, and these tournaments were held alongside little kids' events. I was cutting a lot of weight at the time, and I remember seeing a little kid running next to me on the treadmill with his dad all over him, telling him he needed to get the weight off. I just thought, man, this is crazy. I’m not saying I never cut weight—I did, and I understand it—but you don’t need to do that to become a better wrestler.

The other time it happened, I was cutting weight when a parent came up to me and said, “Hey, my kid is two pounds over. Can you motivate him to get it off?” I was like, no. No, I will not. That’s insane. They were taken aback when I told them I wouldn’t motivate an 8-year-old to cut weight.

The other one is a big one for me, and you see it now in articles—wrestling can’t be your identity. You’re never going to be able to move on and be happy with your life if your whole identity is wrapped up in the sport. That goes hand in hand with being true to yourself.

I always tell people I stayed in the sport two years too long. I knew when I was done, but the people around me wanted me to keep going. It wasn’t a mental thing—my body physically couldn’t train and compete at the level I needed it to. It was starting to break down. You have to understand that no one beats Father Time.

Those are the big two things I would say."

Wrestling Growth Tip: 1: Refs need to call stalling more consistently to encourage action and more offensive wrestling. 2. Simplify the rulebook by removing outdated or unnecessary rules to make the sport easier to follow and officiate.

"Refs need to ​call ​stalling. ​Wrestling ​is ​getting ​so ​boring ​to ​watch, ​especially ​in ​the ​top ​and ​bottom ​positions. ​I ​think ​that's ​the ​biggest ​issue...

Additionally, I ​talk ​about ​this ​every ​year ​when ​the ​rules ​come ​up. ​They ​need ​to ​go ​through ​that ​rule ​book ​just ​like ​the ​NCAA ​is ​doing ​right ​now. ​They ​need ​to ​really ​look ​at ​it ​and ​eliminate ​all ​the ​nonsense. ​There ​are ​so ​many ​rules ​that ​aren't ​even ​followed ​or ​aren't ​relevant ​in ​today’s ​wrestling. ​They ​need ​to ​simplify ​everything. ​

I ​mean, ​the ​drop-down ​count ​and ​all ​these ​other ​things ​that ​refs ​are ​looking ​for ​need ​to ​be ​eliminated. ​If ​they ​just ​ref ​the ​matches ​instead ​of ​overcomplicating ​things, ​a ​lot ​of ​issues ​would ​take ​care ​of ​themselves. ​I ​think ​we're ​focusing ​on ​too ​many ​small ​details, ​and ​it's ​making ​the ​sport ​harder ​to ​follow."

Growth Bite

This week's Growth Bite comes from Henry David Thoreau:

In a world obsessed with quick success, Thoreau reminds us that growth happens at its own pace. Not everyone’s journey looks the same, and that’s okay. Some people develop faster than others, while some take years to find their rhythm. It’s easy to get distracted, but stay true to your path.

• Don’t compare your progress to others. Success unfolds in "unexpected hours"—often when you least expect it.

• Be patient with yourself. Just as an oak tree doesn’t rush to grow, neither should you force progress before its time.

• Some people just hear a different drummer. Stay patient, stay persistent, and trust the process.

Community Treat

This week's Community Treat comes from a Twitter post by Coach Stacy, listing 10 reasons why we should get rid of the wrestling singlet. It sparked quite a debate and garnered over 120K views: