Snacks

This week's Snacks come from Tanner Gardner: Wrestled for Stanford University, where he became the program’s first-ever 3X NCAA All-American. He was also a 2X Academic All-American, PAC-10 Scholar-Athlete of the Year, and a member of the Stanford Athletics Hall of Fame. He is currently the Athletic Director at Pepperdine University.

Below are some excerpts from our conversation, along with key takeaways and tips that can be applied to improve yourself as a Coach, Athlete, or wrestling Parent.

Origin Story Tip: If you only do what everyone else is doing, it’s hard to get ahead. The wrestlers who make the biggest jumps are the ones who put in extra time—whether that’s training with a private coach, getting in extra reps with a partner, or finding ways to improve outside of regular practice. Growth happens when you go beyond the standard.

"So, I did not come from a wrestling family. I grew up in Kansas, and my entry into wrestling was pretty unique. I wanted to be a basketball player, so I tried out for the seventh-grade basketball team—but I got cut.

My middle school PE teacher, Bob Gonzales, who was also the high school wrestling coach, saw me crying in the locker room. We called him "Gonzo." He asked me if I wanted to go out for wrestling, explaining that they had a middle school program. That’s how I got into wrestling—by being cut from the basketball team.

It turned out that I was pretty good at it. I started in the lowest weight class and picked it up quickly. I never initially planned to wrestle in college, but I kept improving, especially during my freshman and sophomore years. Then, I started receiving letters from colleges, which ultimately led to me wrestling at Stanford University...

I can’t remember exactly how good I was early on, but I certainly excelled at it. I had a great coach in Bob Gonzales. My big break probably came when I was at a tournament as a freshman in high school.

There was a younger kid there, Neil Erisman—who is now the head coach at Arkansas Little Rock. Neil had a private coach named Tom Peterman, and his dad approached my dad at the tournament. Neil’s dad told my dad that Neil had lost his training partner and asked if I’d be interested in training with him.

My dad asked me, and I said sure... Two or three days a week, I would drive from Topeka to Kansas City—about an hour away—to train with Neil and Tom Peterman.

That was probably when I really started to improve—when I began putting in the extra time. If you only do what everyone else does, it’s hard to get ahead. In high school, I would practice with my team from 3 to 5 p.m., then drive an hour to train with Neil from 6:30 to 8 p.m. I did that twice a week, and it made a huge difference.

I was lucky to have that opportunity, and it really helped accelerate my progress. I also had incredibly supportive parents. Neither of them wrestled or knew much about the sport, but they were always there for me."

Parent Tip: Instill the values of hard work, commitment, and a healthy lifestyle early on. Encouraging your kids to be active, exercise regularly, and develop discipline in all areas—whether it's sports, school, or other activities—sets the foundation for long-term success. The foundation of success isn’t just skill—it’s the willingness to outwork others and stay dedicated to the process.

"I was lucky to have really great parents who, more than anything, instilled in me and my siblings the value of commitment and hard work. From the time I was probably five, six, or seven years old, we were exercising—we’d get up early in the mornings and work out. We played the piano and did all these things.

My parents were not athletes themselves, but they were athletic. I think I started doing triathlons when I was five or six years old. I came from a family that was committed to fitness and living healthy lives. I also come from a family that really values work ethic.

Both of my parents worked incredibly hard, and they instilled those same values in us. Another related value was commitment—when you start something, you always finish it. And if you're going to do something, you might as well be the best at it. These were core values that were instilled in me early on.

I don’t know that I was always the most talented wrestler, but there weren’t many people who outworked me. That was largely a function of the values my parents instilled in me. Candidly, I think that’s a big part of my professional success as well. I might not always be the smartest person, but there are few people who will outwork me."

Coaching Tip: Balance intensity with positivity. Be firm when necessary, but stay adaptable—great athletes often challenge authority, and the best coaches know when to stand their ground and when to listen. Push athletes to their limits while maintaining a strong, supportive relationship. They respond best when they know their coach truly cares but also holds them accountable.

"I was lucky to have great coaches in high school. Of course, Gonzo was probably the most formative for me. He was a really positive, high-energy guy who knew when to discipline and buckle down when needed. On one hand, Gonzo was jovial and fun to be around, but when it came time for practice and getting to business, he was intense. He pushed you hard, right to your limit, but you always knew he cared about you. I think that’s a great model for coaching.

In addition to Gonzo, there were other coaches in high school who had a big impact, like Chad Parks and a few other assistants. Then, there was Tom Peterman, who coached me when I wrestled with Neil Erisman. Tom was an excellent technician who really focused on refining skills. He had the right level of intensity to push you to work hard, but his primary role in my life was helping me fine-tune my craft.

Another key influence was Kevin Klemm, who ran the East Kansas Wrestling Club and later moved to California to be an assistant coach at Stanford when I was there. Like the others, he brought positive intensity. Across all three of these coaches, the common theme was that they were positive, supportive, and truly cared about their athletes—but they also knew when to push hard. I responded well to that balance.

On the other hand, the type of coaches I didn’t respond well to were those who were inflexible. I have a challenger personality, which, much to the chagrin of my coaches, often meant I questioned things. Coaches who were militaristic in their approach, unwilling to reason or be flexible, were difficult for me to work with.

That’s not to say the great coaches I had weren’t firm. Gonzo, Kevin, Tom, and later T. Buddy and Kerry McCoy in college, all commanded the room. They had authority and presence, but they weren’t so rigid that they couldn’t adapt. I believe a lot of great athletes are challengers, and the best coaches know how to work with those personalities. They know when to be firm and when to be flexible.

That’s something I’ve taken into my own leadership style as well."

Athlete Tip: Be the master of things that take no skill—attitude and effort. Talent can only take you so far, but showing up every day with a great attitude and a relentless work ethic will set you apart. Success isn’t just about ability; it’s about consistently outworking others and gaining the mental edge that comes from knowing you’ve put in the work.

"This ​is ​actually ​advice ​that ​I ​give ​even ​to ​employees: ​be ​the ​master ​of ​things ​that ​take ​no ​skill—attitude ​and ​effort. ​This ​is ​a ​saying ​from ​one ​of ​my ​old ​bosses, ​Joe Karlgaard, ​who ​was ​the ​Senior ​Associate ​AD ​at ​Stanford ​and ​then ​my ​boss ​at ​Rice ​for ​nine ​years. ​He ​would ​always ​say, ​"Be ​the ​master ​of ​things ​that ​take ​no ​skill—attitude ​and ​effort." ​And ​that's ​my ​best ​advice ​to ​young ​employees.

That's ​also ​my ​best ​advice ​to ​young ​wrestlers. ​If ​you ​show ​up ​every ​day ​to ​practice ​with ​a ​good ​attitude ​and ​work ​hard, ​you're ​going ​to ​be ​successful. ​Talent ​matters, ​no ​doubt. ​Sometimes ​you ​either ​have ​it ​or ​you ​don't. ​But ​you ​can ​still ​be ​really ​successful ​just ​by ​having ​a ​good ​attitude ​and ​working ​hard. ​If ​you ​do ​that, ​I ​think ​that's ​90% ​of ​success ​in ​life.

That’s ​the ​main ​piece ​of ​advice ​I ​would ​give. ​I ​probably ​overvalue ​hard ​work, ​but ​to ​me, ​especially ​in ​a ​physical ​sport ​like ​wrestling, ​hard ​work ​is ​everything. ​It ​not ​only ​gets ​you ​in ​better ​shape ​than ​others, ​but ​it ​also ​gives ​you ​a ​mental ​edge. ​When ​you ​step ​on ​the ​mat, ​you ​can ​tell ​yourself, ​"I ​might ​not ​be ​more ​talented ​than ​this ​person, ​but ​I ​know ​I ​worked ​harder ​than ​them, ​and ​I ​know ​I'm ​in ​better ​shape." ​That ​mental ​edge ​is ​significant, ​and ​that’s ​how ​I ​always ​felt ​going ​into ​a ​match.

I've ​seen ​so ​many ​wrestlers ​who ​were ​more ​talented ​than ​me ​but ​never ​panned ​out. ​A ​big ​part ​of ​that ​was ​mental ​toughness, ​which ​I ​believe ​comes ​back ​to ​effort ​and ​attitude."

Negative Impact Tip: Pushing too hard too soon can backfire. Parents can help facilitate a child’s growth in sports, but when they force them to excel, it may work in the short term—but it’s not sustainable. Burnout, resentment, and loss of passion can follow. True success comes when the athlete takes ownership of their journey.

"I think this could apply to other sports, not just wrestling. I think back to my parents—one of the things they did really well was making sure I was doing it because I wanted to, not because they were pushing me at a pace I didn’t want to go. When I chose to do something, they made sure I was committed to it, but they never forced me to do more than I wanted, beyond what I had already committed to.

A lot of the people I’ve talked about who didn’t reach their full potential were pushed so hard early on that they came to hate the sport. They were forced to do things they didn’t want to do. I didn’t train with Neil Erisman and Tom Peterman because my dad told me to or because he wanted me to—I did it because I wanted to. Parents can facilitate a child's growth in sports, but when they force them to excel, it may work in the short term, but it’s not going to work in the long run.

The second piece is that I am a firm believer in playing a variety of sports and avoiding specialization, at least until high school. Growing up, I played all kinds of sports. Even in high school, I played golf and wrestled—it wasn’t until my junior year that I really started to focus on wrestling. I think having that balance ultimately made me a better wrestler, and, frankly, it helped me peak at the right time.

Starting wrestling late was actually beneficial for me because I peaked at 23 years old in college, rather than at 18 in high school. You see so many wrestlers who are four-time state champs or multiple-time national champs at a young age, but when they get to college, they’re only going downhill from there. Not being too focused on a single sport early on can help ensure that you peak at the right time."

Wrestling Growth Tip: For wrestling to grow, programs must demonstrate their value to universities. With college enrollment declining, showing how wrestling contributes to student recruitment and retention can help secure its place in athletic departments.

"I would say a couple of things. One, wrestlers need to continue to show good character. I think wrestling can sometimes have a bit of a bad reputation—let’s say, for being "meatheads."

The second thing I would say is that athletic departments and wrestling programs need to prove the value they add to the university. When you look at the bigger picture, colleges are facing an enrollment decline. Wrestling programs should be able to communicate how they help offset that decline by bringing in additional students, ultimately adding more value to the university than what they cost to operate.

For example, if a program is offering scholarships to 10 athletes but carrying a roster of 28, that means they’re adding 18 additional students to the school, which can be significant for a university. Clearly articulating this value from an enrollment standpoint is important and will help grow the sport.

I also believe women’s wrestling plays a key role in growth. One of the challenges men’s wrestling has faced in the past is Title IX compliance. However, if a school can add a women’s program, it helps balance Title IX numbers and creates new opportunities. Plus, the cost of adding a women’s wrestling program when a men’s team already exists is not significant."

Growth Bite

This week's Growth Bite comes from the concept of Ikigai, a Japanese term meaning "reason for being." It’s a framework for finding fulfillment by aligning four key elements:

• What you LOVE – Your passions and interests.

• What you are GOOD AT – Your skills and talents.

• What the world NEEDS – Ways you can contribute.

• What you can be PAID FOR – Work that sustains you.

At the center of these elements lies Ikigai—the sweet spot where passion, talent, purpose, and financial sustainability meet.

When all four align, you can experience true fulfillment. If one is missing, you may lack passion, purpose, or stability. Ikigai serves as a guide to building a meaningful and balanced life.

Community Treat

This week's Community Treat comes from one of our readers in Utah. They shared their thoughts on the growing trend of schools recruiting international wrestlers. Feel free to reply with any comments or thoughts you have on the topic!