Snacks

This week's Snacks come from Jason Borrelli: Wrestled at Central Michigan, where he was a MAC Champion, 2X NCAA National Qualifier, and 4X NWCA Scholar All-American. Spent 13 seasons as the Head Coach at Stanford, earning 2X Pac-12 Coach of the Year honors. Named the 2021 WIN Dan Gable Coach of the Year. Currently, he’s the Head Coach at American University.

Below are some excerpts from our conversation, along with key takeaways and tips that can be applied to improve yourself as a Coach, Athlete, or wrestling Parent.

Origin Story Tip: 1: Sometimes being a little delusion can be a good thing. Believing in yourself—sometimes beyond reason—can fuel confidence and push you further than logic alone would allow. 2: Starting later in this sport isn’t always a disadvantage; it can keep enthusiasm high and motivation strong.

"Well, it's interesting. Growing up with a dad as a Division 1 coach, I was never pushed. I don’t have any memories or recollection of him ever talking about wrestling with me, asking if I wanted to wrestle, or trying to get me to wrestle. But I was around it a lot, so I feel like my familiarity and understanding of it came naturally.

Everywhere we lived while he coached—whether that was at Clemson when he was an assistant coach, or later at Lake Superior State, and then Central Michigan—none of those towns had organized youth wrestling. So, I didn’t even have the option. Instead, I played other sports. I remember starting soccer when I was really little, but I didn’t love it as much. Then I got excited about baseball and basketball. When we moved to Mount Pleasant, I played hockey. So, all my early experiences were in what you’d call the "normal" sports.

It wasn’t until seventh grade that I started wrestling, when the middle school in Mount Pleasant—where Central Michigan is—offered it. That was the first time I ever competed in organized wrestling. Before that, I had maybe attended a few summer camps with my brother, but nothing serious. I think my enthusiasm for the sport was stronger because it was completely my choice, and I was mature enough at that point to really invest in it. I’d say I started at a fairly high level, especially for a seventh grader.

What’s fascinating looking back is that I had a really delusional mindset. I honestly believed I was never going to lose. Obviously, I didn’t have an unbelievable career—I had a decent career in the grand scheme of things—but my mind was set on winning four Cadet Fargo titles, six Junior Fargo titles, and breaking Dan Gable’s records. That’s how I thought.

And I don’t know why, but I had that same mindset in other sports too. When I played football, I thought I was going to be the next Walter Payton and never get tackled. I’d watch and think, “Why do these guys get tackled? Just run past them.” That was my mindset.

Then, in my very first seventh-grade wrestling match, despite that confidence, I barely won in overtime. I remember being exhausted and thinking, “Wait, I was supposed to destroy everyone.” It was a wake-up call. Fast forward to my first high school tournament—I lost my first match. That was another reality check. Wrestling seemed so simple, like it was just me versus another person, but I quickly learned that other people had just as much will to win as I did.

Looking back, I think having that kind of delusional mindset actually helped me. It gave me an ultimate confidence in myself. Long story short, I started in seventh grade, and I feel like I had a decent starting point simply because I had been exposed to wrestling by watching my dad’s team. I understood basic concepts, but I also think starting later worked in my favor. My enthusiasm for the sport never diminished, and I was able to stay motivated and keep improving little by little."

Parent Tip: Take a step back and trust the process. As a parent, it’s natural to want to give advice, but constantly adding your voice to the mix can create confusion for your athlete. Coaches see the bigger picture and work toward long-term development, not just short-term results.

"I think that being a fan and supporting them, encouraging them, and keeping their dreams alive is important. But try to separate yourself and allow the coaches in place to teach them about the sport. Be their cheerleader on the side.

Clutter happens in young kids' minds. They’re told one thing by their coaches, their teammates give their own advice, then parents, aunts, uncles, and even high school or college coaches add more input. With so many voices, it becomes hard to sift through what’s right. Centering their advice to come from one primary source can be really helpful, especially when they’re young and trying to figure out their path.

So many parents watch their kids in a single moment and think they have everything figured out. But as coaches, we’re with their kids for hours a week, focusing on long-term sustainability rather than short-term results. If parents can take a step back and avoid giving sports-specific advice, it can really benefit the athlete.

That’s something my dad did really well. I’m sure he wanted to tell me things all the time, but he never did. He let my middle school and high school coaches be the leaders and direct me. Once I became one of his athletes in college, then he coached me."

Coaching Tip: “Define four or five basic fundamentals of wrestling—things related to stance, conditioning, and key scoring positions—and master them. That foundation will take you a long way.”

"Well, there are two other things that I think about that were probably instilled in me right away. First, basics win. High-performing, winning programs—whether in sports, business, or any field—are masters at executing the basics.

In wrestling, that means things like front headlocks, scoring out of front headlocks, having good hip defense, finishing single legs, getting off bottom, and riding well. These fundamental skills sound simple, and in some ways, they are. But if you don’t master them, you’ll struggle. You’ll be in these positions all the time, so you have to work on them. If you focus too much on flashy takedowns and scrambles, you might neglect the core skills that carry you the farthest.

If I had advice, I’d say define four or five basic fundamentals of wrestling—things related to stance, conditioning, and key scoring positions—and master them. That foundation will take you a long way.

The second thing is patience. Every great coach I’ve been around has had a lot of patience. It’s amazing what kids can accomplish if you give them time. As long as they’re working hard, passionate, and truly care, you have to be patient with them. Maybe they don’t find success in their first or second year, but by their third or fourth year, they can make huge strides.

That’s a philosophy I’ve always stuck to—I don’t cut kids from teams. When we recruit, we make sure they meet a certain standard, even if they’re not winning right away. If they have work ethic, passion, and high integrity, they might surprise you down the road. Too often, coaches only look for the kid who can win now and give up on the ones who need more time. But if you stick with them, some of those kids will develop into something special."

Athlete Tip: Set goals higher than what’s expected of you. When your personal goals exceed your coach’s expectations, every challenge they push you through feels like a necessary step rather than an unfair demand.

"Some of the things I already said apply to basics. Make sure you always work on them and never neglect them. The stories of the Michael Jordans, Kobe Bryants, and other great athletes in different sports show that it wasn’t flashy moves that got them there. The same is true for elite wrestlers. It’s the consistent approach to mastering the fundamental concepts of the sport—doing them over and over until you reach the point where you’re confident in executing a handful of moves on anyone.

You don’t want to be a jack of all trades and master of none. You need to have a few things in your arsenal that you know you can execute under pressure. You don’t need to scour FloWrestling for every new flashy move or technique. Instead, take the "less is more" approach—focus on a few core skills and perfect them.

One of the most important things for any successful person is goal setting. If you’re on a team, your goal should never be lower than what your coaches expect of you. In college, the best-case scenario is when an athlete’s goals are higher than the coach’s. That way, anything the coach asks of you will never feel like too much.

However, if your goal is to be a state qualifier and your coach expects you to be a four-time state champion, there will be tension. The coach will demand more from you than you might demand from yourself, leading to frustration. That’s why I make sure to sit down with my athletes and ensure we’re on the same page—I never want a situation where I expect more from them than they expect from themselves because that leads to resistance.

So, as an athlete, set incredibly high goals—really high goals. Most of them are achievable if you’re willing to put in the work. If you aim for something big and actually take action, you’d be amazed at what you can accomplish. Many people dream but never get off their butt and start working. The truth is, most of those dreams are within reach. Set high goals, learn what it takes to achieve them, and embrace the standard that comes with them so that when your coach pushes you, there’s no tension—only progress."

Negative Impact Tip: Treating wrestling as purely an individual sport can do more harm than good. Focusing only on personal success can take away from the importance of team loyalty, family support, and being part of something bigger. A strong team environment fosters growth, support, and long-term success.

"It's interesting because my mind goes to things within the sport, and it kind of circles back to what I mentioned earlier—this idea that if we individualize it too much, I don’t think that’s a good thing. We need to focus on the family, team loyalty, and commitment side of wrestling—being part of something bigger than just yourself.

As a whole, I think we do more harm than good when we treat this as an individual sport, where it’s all about you and only you. That mindset isn’t beneficial for wrestling. 

When it comes to parents and coaches, there are a lot of negatives that can arise. The verbal abuse, for example. Tough love is one thing, and if you have a strong enough relationship, you can push an athlete. But telling a kid, "You’re terrible," or "You suck, I can’t believe you lost," can be really harmful—especially for younger kids.

I have three boys—an 11-year-old, a 10-year-old, and a 6-year-old. The way I talk to them is completely different from how I talk to our 20- and 21-year-old college athletes. Younger kids are much more sensitive, and I think people need to recognize that a 5- to 15-year-old’s mind works differently than a 16- to 25-year-old’s. When I go to youth tournaments, I hear so much yelling and screaming—it’s nuts. I think that kind of environment can be really bad for the long-term health of the sport."

Wrestling Growth Tip: Youth wrestling should be structured in a way that keeps kids engaged and parents involved. Shifting the focus from long individual tournaments to shorter, team-based dual meets can make the sport more accessible. When families don’t have to sacrifice entire weekends, more kids are likely to join and stick with wrestling.

"Yeah, that's an awesome question. I think about it all the time. I don’t think my perspective is necessarily unique, but for me, I always ask: What can we do to get more youth involved? Because that’s where it has to start. The more kids we have wanting to wrestle, the better.

If we’re asking that question, we also have to ask: What do parents need to feel comfortable putting their kids into wrestling? If I’m a young parent who knows nothing about the sport, what would either encourage or discourage me from signing my kid up? One thing that stands out is time commitment.

I don’t know many parents, including myself, who get excited about spending an entire weekend at an eight-hour tournament. I’ll gladly go to my kid’s one-hour basketball game or two-hour soccer match, but I don’t want to spend an entire day at a wrestling event. That’s why I think youth wrestling should focus more on dual meets rather than individual tournaments.

A one- to two-hour dual meet where kids compete as part of a team would make wrestling more manageable for parents. They could watch their kid wrestle, then go home and enjoy the rest of the weekend as a family. I just don’t think most parents want to give up an entire day for youth sports."

Growth Bite

Why Impossible Goals Make You Better

This week's Growth Bite comes from 10x Is Easier Than 2x by Dan Sullivan and Benjamin Hardy and the concept of impossible goals—how aiming higher forces you to think differently and make greater changes.

Most people set incremental goals—going 2x instead of 10x—because it feels more realistic. But when you aim for something impossible, you’re forced to think in entirely new ways. You can’t just work harder; you have to fundamentally change your approach.

10x goals eliminate distractions, force innovation, and require you to let go of what no longer serves you. Instead of doing more, you do less but better—focusing only on what moves the needle the most.

Community Treat

This week's Community Treat comes from a Twitter post on a topic that resurfaces year after year in the wrestling community, sparking heated debates and outrageous comments: