Hi 👋

Welcome to Week #60 of the Wrestling Snacks Newsletter.

I hope everyone is doing great—I missed y’all! Apologies for the two-week hiatus, but we’re back in action!

Let’s GO 💪

News Bites

• DI Live Streaming Guide (12/12 - 12/15/2024)

• 2024 Cliff Keen Las Vegas Invitational: Final Results

• NCAA DI Rankings Updated (12/10/2024)

• Maryland breaks into Top 25, Illinois climbs to No. 11 in NWCA Div. I Poll

• Life jumps to No. 1, Grand View drops to No. 2 in both the NAIA Men's and NAIA Women's Wrestling Coaches Polls

• 2026 NCAA Wrestling D1 Commitment List

• Minnesota Wrestling Surging After Return Of Gable Steveson

• NCAA D1 Wrestling Box Scores For December 9-15

• Spencer Lee Leads Team USA Contingent Competing In Kazakhstan

• DeSanto and Black win gold medals in Greco-Roman at Haavisto Cup in Finland

Snacks

This week's Snacks come from Jared Frayer: 2012 Olympian, U.S. Open Champion and 5X U.S. National Team member. Wrestled at The University of Oklahoma: 2X NCAA All-American (2002 NCAA Finalist), 2X Academic All-Big 12 honoree, and 2001 Wade Schalles Award recipient. He’s currently the Associate Head Coach at Virginia Tech.

Below are some excerpts from our conversation, along with key takeaways and tips that can be applied to improve yourself as a Coach, Athlete, or wrestling Parent.

Origin Story Tip: No matter how discouraged your kids feel, encourage them to finish strong. Don’t let them quit in the heat of frustration or for the wrong reasons at the wrong time. Teaching them to push through tough moments builds resilience and shapes their future success.

"My Dad wrestled growing up. He wrestled at Ball State back when they had a program, and there were programs everywhere. He was originally from Indianapolis, Indiana, and then moved to Miami, Florida. From there, he started coaching high school wrestling. I kind of fell into his footsteps and started rolling when I was just a little guy.

I wrestled freestyle pretty much all the way until I was a freshman in high school. Florida never had folkstyle wrestling; it was all AAU and USA Wrestling, so it was pretty much all freestyle. Growing up, I wrestled as much as I could—three or four different weight classes, different age divisions—and I think I was fairly successful. Later in elementary school, we started traveling to find competition, and I saw guys like Mike Zadick and Bill Zadick at AAU Nationals in Billings, Montana, as a 9- or 10-year-old. I ended up wrestling those same guys again at 30 or 31 years old.

My dad encouraged me to play other sports, so I played football, swam, and even dove in high school. He was a driving force in my career, but he eventually pushed me off to a club coach later in high school. This allowed us to avoid the coach-and-son battles and keep our relationship as father and son. Although he was still my high school coach, my club coach began working with me, traveling with me, and helping me develop...

In my freshman year of high school, my goal was to be a four-time state champion. I vividly remember losing in the semifinals of the state tournament and being devastated. I told myself I was done and didn’t want to wrestle anymore. I was only 15 years old at the time, but I still remember my dad sitting me down in the hotel and saying, “You’re going to finish this tournament. You’re going to make weight, finish competing, and then if you’re done, I’m okay with that.”

I finished the tournament, took third place, and took some time off afterward. That’s when my dad decided it was time to find another coach to be in my ear rather than himself. That decision changed the entire trajectory of my wrestling career."

Parent Tip: (1) Let your child experience the sport as a fan, not just a competitor. Encourage them to attend wrestling events without the pressure of competing, giving them the opportunity to observe, learn, and appreciate the sport from a different perspective. (2) Find ways to get your child into the wrestling room without a coach to allow for unstructured time on the mat. This can be a freeing and more relaxing experience, helping them discover the joy and creativity in the sport.

"I think being able to allow kids to be fans of the sport is important. Every single event or competition they go to doesn’t have to involve them wrestling in it. This applies to college athletes as well. It can be incredibly beneficial to take them to weigh-ins or events with a group of teammates just to observe and take it all in without the stress of competing. Seeing things from a bird’s-eye view, without being in the fire, can help them make adjustments in their mind. Looking back, I wish I had done more of that.

I love going to meets or matches where my wrestlers aren’t competing so I can just be a fan. Watching great wrestling and asking myself what I’d do differently in certain situations is valuable. As a parent, letting your child experience events without competing every weekend can help them reset. Shifting their mindset during practices is also key. It doesn’t always have to be an hour-long grind. Bring a “backyard mindset” into the wrestling room—similar to shooting hoops or playing catch where you imagine game scenarios and championships.

Sometimes, letting kids have unstructured time in the wrestling room without a coach can be freeing. The stress of one-on-one combat can be overwhelming for some kids and may drive them away from the sport. That’s why team sports are so enjoyable—they spread the pressure and teach valuable lessons. Playing other sports can also provide different perspectives and opportunities for growth. Wrestling is too hard to be the only thing a kid does. Other sports can teach unique lessons as their body grows and as they develop as teammates and individuals. Wrestling shouldn’t be the end-all-be-all; it’s about balance."

Coaching Tip: Put yourself in your athlete’s shoes, especially during tough times like weight cuts or after a loss. Offer support tailored to their needs, whether it’s giving them space to process, providing encouragement, or being hands-on during practices. Recognize that every athlete is different—some thrive under hard-nosed approaches, while others shut down.

"Yeah, ​I ​think ​the ​coaches ​that ​put ​themselves ​in ​my ​shoes ​worked ​the ​best ​for ​me. Not ​necessarily ​wrestling ​and ​going ​through ​conditioning ​with ​me, ​but ​understanding ​and ​being ​available ​in ​those ​hard ​situations. For ​instance, ​when ​you're ​cutting ​weight ​or ​making ​weight, ​a ​coach ​giving ​you ​a ​quick ​rub ​down ​or ​finding ​ways ​to ​comfort ​you ​can ​make ​a ​huge ​difference.

Those ​hard ​times ​are ​what ​stand ​out ​when ​I ​think ​about ​the ​coaches ​I ​really ​responded ​to ​and ​how ​I ​want ​to ​be ​as ​a ​coach. Whether ​it's ​after ​a ​big ​win ​or ​a ​big ​loss, ​figuring ​out ​what ​makes ​each ​individual ​tick ​and ​how ​to ​comfort ​them ​is ​key. Whether ​it's ​giving ​them ​space ​to ​blow ​off ​steam ​and ​talking ​later, ​or ​being ​right ​alongside ​them ​as ​they ​go ​through ​a ​tough ​time, ​coaches ​who ​adapt ​to ​those ​needs ​are ​the ​ones ​who ​make ​a ​lasting ​impact.

I’ve ​always ​responded ​well ​to ​coaches ​who ​would ​wrestle, ​spar, ​or ​drill ​with ​me, ​teaching ​in ​a ​hands-on ​way. ​I ​still ​try ​to ​do ​that ​as ​a ​coach, ​even ​though ​it’s ​harder ​now ​with ​guys ​like ​Caleb ​Henson, ​who ​are ​really ​good. I ​often ​think, ​“I ​used ​to ​be ​a ​really ​good ​wrestler, ​but ​now ​I ​just ​have ​to ​be ​a ​really ​good ​coach.” ​I’m ​not ​as ​capable ​anymore, ​but ​I ​focus ​on ​coaching ​the ​best ​I ​can.

Instead ​of ​being ​a ​dictator ​or ​hard-nosed, ​I ​try ​to ​be ​more ​compassionate ​and ​put ​myself ​in ​my ​guys' ​shoes. ​You ​deal ​with ​a ​different ​type ​of ​athlete ​today. ​Some ​still ​respond ​to ​being ​pushed ​hard, ​but ​many ​will ​shut ​you ​down ​if ​you ​take ​a ​dictatorial ​approach. ​It’s ​important ​to ​step ​back ​and ​find ​different ​ways ​to ​motivate ​them ​and ​figure ​out ​what ​makes ​them ​tick.

Looking ​back, ​my ​best ​coaches ​were ​the ​ones ​who ​could ​empathize ​with ​me, ​get ​on ​my ​level, ​and ​make ​adjustments ​to ​meet ​me ​where ​I ​was. ​That’s ​the ​approach ​I ​try ​to ​take ​now ​as ​a ​coach."

Athlete Tip: Make the sport fun, make it a game, and figure out the little nuances of the sport that you can manipulate to make it your own. Be a student of the game: identify your flaws, track down answers, and step out of your comfort zone. Relax, study the sport, and find someone to look up to.

"I think that was kind of my main thing—to make the sport fun, make it a game, and figure out little nuances of the sport that I could manipulate to make it mine. That’s what I try to convey to the guys on my team. I remember some of the best advice came from moments playing pickup basketball or handball, or whatever sport. You’re competing like crazy, hating to lose, and doing everything to win. But then, when it comes to the wrestling mat, sometimes that fire isn’t there—whether it’s burnout or something else.

You have to bring that competitiveness and desire to improve into every workout. As I said earlier, I’m a process-driven guy. If you’re not mentally ready—if you’re just going through the motions because of a bad day—I’d almost rather you not come to practice. Wrestling is about having a mind that can think your way out of positions, putting yourself in scenarios that force you to figure out how to escape or improve. It’s a way to not only get better but to keep the sport fresh and enjoyable.

That’s what I try to get across to my guys: make it a game. Sure, it’s going to be hard, and we have to do hard things to put ourselves in the best positions. You’ve got to play the game with others who are really good at it, figure out ways to beat them, and handle the stress of competition. Growing up, with my dad as my coach, it was tough. I heard the same voice saying the same things over and over again. But once I decided to make it more of a game—thinking about the technical side and letting my imagination wander in the practice room—it became fun.

I started coming up with things others weren’t doing and found success that way. I looked up to guys like Kendall Cross, who seemed to have a blast doing such a hard sport. He made it look fun—scoring a ton of points and not worrying about getting scored on. But to make myself a title contender or Olympic team member, I had to adopt the mindset of the Iowa style or someone like Terry Brands. Why was I losing to Iowa guys or those with a crazy pace? I was working hard, and I knew I was technically sound, but I would lose in the finals or semifinals because I was too focused on the win.

I spent three years under Terry Brands to figure out that mindset and take myself to the next level. Being a student of the game, figuring out your flaws, tracking down answers, and stepping out of your comfort zone are critical. Relax, figure out the sport, and find someone to look up to. With so many resources available, you can study wrestlers like David Taylor and say, “I want to wrestle like that guy,” and work toward that goal."

Negative Impact Tip: Avoid excessive weight-cutting or pushing kids to compete in big tournaments before they’re ready. Overemphasizing wins and losses at a young age can strip away the enjoyment of the sport. Instead, focus on their overall development, ensuring they compete at a weight where they feel strong and can perform their best.

"That's a question you have to be a little careful of. Because wrestling teaches such great values, morals, and character-driven aspects. But the weight-cutting thing has always been bothersome. It's pretty cut and dry—making these kids, at a young age, make decisions or having decisions made for them without considering where they'll wrestle their best.

Where are they going to be successful? Is it really worth it? You see parents on forums saying, "My kid is half a pound over, and he can't spit anymore." What are we doing? We want these kids to perform at their best and have the freedom to do what they love. For me, weight cutting is the biggest issue.

Then there’s the problem of too much competition—kids focusing more on wins and losses than on improving in the practice room. Going 0-2 at a big tournament, or any tournament, when they’re not ready to compete, means nothing. 

It brings a negative impact, making kids not want to wrestle because they don’t want to lose. Losing is tough for anyone, but when everything is centered on wins and losses or wrestling at the lowest weight class, it becomes toxic. It’s not about how they’ll place 1, 2, 3, or 4; it’s about where they’ll compete at their best.

Why cut weight to the point where they can’t function and can’t execute the moves they’ve been practicing for months? Those are the two biggest concerns for me: weight cutting and over-competition. I believe these are fixable. We can teach so much about nutrition—about good, quality foods that fuel the body. No one needs to put on plastics and run on a treadmill to prepare for life. Eating healthy, counting calories, and understanding fiber and water loading are lessons that will carry through a lifetime.

That’s something I never learned as a kid. Back then, it wasn’t a big deal, but now there are countless resources to help kids become healthier individuals, instead of dehydrating themselves to the point where they can’t function."

Wrestling Growth Tip: Focus on the excitement and connection that dual meets bring to the sport. These competitions create a team-centered environment that drives fan engagement and grows wrestling organically. Adding a dual team championship alongside the individual national tournament can offer two incredible fan experiences and open new growth opportunities for the sport.

"You know, at the college level, for me, I think it’d be fun to do more dual meets or even have a dual meet champion. It’s kind of back and forth every year, but I can tell you the dual meets are pretty exciting. It’s a great way to grow the sport organically. Whether it’s a dual meet championship or not, I think dual meets go a long way, but a lot of teams are getting away from them, which is unfortunate.

And then, of course, there’s the typical NCAA tournament. I love folkstyle wrestling. I grew up as a freestyle guy, but folkstyle wrestling is something unique to the United States. There’s a reason 20,000 people show up every year to watch—it’s the greatest wrestling spectacle. I think we’re doing a really good job of growing the sport, to tell you the truth.

Every outside entity seems to be trying to make that harder for us, though. We’re going to have to start thinking outside the box soon because this whole NCAA thing isn’t good for our sport. The lawsuits coming in and figuring out how we can keep this afloat is a real challenge. College wrestling is at a pretty awesome point right now, but we need to figure out the route to keep it rolling.

It’s a scary thing to think about because it’s going to push us to get outside the box, talk to some people, and figure this out. This question is going to help a lot of us move to the next level and make the sport even greater than it is. But in the next five to ten years, we’re going to have to find another avenue because this thing could become obsolete at the Division 1 level really quickly."

Growth Bite

This week's Growth Bite comes from Friedrich Nietzsche: "He who has a why to live can bear almost any how." This quote reminds me that having a clear purpose or driving force can help you endure and overcome tough challenges. By staying connected to your "why," you’ll find the resilience to push through the times when you feel like quitting.

Community Treat

This week's Community Treat comes from an unsportsmanlike conduct call that has the wrestling community fired up!

In a heated dual between rival schools Easton and Nazareth in Pennsylvania, the final match of the night ended with an Easton wrestler securing a tech fall, giving Easton a 28-27 dual win—or so it seemed. The referee didn’t like that the wrestler tossed his headgear and called an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty, deducting a team point from Easton. This brought the final team score to 27-27, but Nazareth won the dual on criteria.

It gets better: turns out the referee was a state champ from Nazareth!